


Separation Anxiety

by Willowshade



Series: Tea for Two [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Post-Canon, Songfic, Spoilers from up chapter 137
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29523381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowshade/pseuds/Willowshade
Summary: The fact that Armin confirmed her suspicions made them seem more solid, somehow. But she wasn't worried about herself, or about the world in that moment.Rather, she wished she could make his expression less heavy, just for a while, even if their future was still bleak as it's always been.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart
Series: Tea for Two [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2169297
Comments: 13
Kudos: 94





	Separation Anxiety

**Author's Note:**

> -Spoilers for those not caught up with the manga-

_I don’t know what I'd do_  
_If I didn't have you_

* * *

Annie couldn’t sleep.

Adrenaline still ran high inside her veins, making her heart pound inside her chest like a drum, as if reluctant to accept that the all fighting was truly over. Her eyes were wide open, blinking up at dark ceiling of the warehouse. She lying down on her back on top of a makeshift mattress made of two folded wool blankets, it was all the refugees could salvage of use from the watch tower. Annie tried to deny the offer to sleep, but Eldians and Marleys survivors alike were insistent their _heroes_ had rest.

_We owe you that much._

_Without your efforts everything would be over._

_You saved us._

_Please rest to gain your strength._

She'd concede partly, she was truly exhausted. Not just physically but emotionally as well. It was the same for every other survivor, and possibly worse for the civilians. At least she was readying herself to die every since she first entered the military, aged seven years old. The fact that she had survived for so long- that she had survived even the end of the world- still hadn’t quite dawned on her. She didn't know where to go from here.

Suddenly, a noise. Annie snapped to attention at a sound breaking the eerily silence inside the place. Someone was trashing against the floor, then, a faint cry of a child. She sounded panicked, as if waking up from a terrible nightmare. The soft coos of a mother trying to calm it down followed suit, forming a single sad melody. Annie saw other people stirring because of the ruckus, the agonizing cry transporting them into the horror they had witnessed just a few hours ago. She had the impression nobody was truly sleeping, too shell-shocked to be able to relax.

She couldn't do it either, not in there. She had to get into the open, she needed space. So she got up as silent as she could, hesitating for a moment as her eyes fall to her father lying next to her. He was the true reason she had accepted to come to the warehouse for the night- he was in bad shape. It seemed he got involved into a physical brawl, and at some point was shot, but for his luck the bullet only grazed his right shoulder. He too was granted the privilege of sleeping in their improvised shelter not only for his injuries, but as well for his leadership over the refugees. He turned out to be quite the hero himself.

It was unreal to meet with him. She was certain that he was dead already. The memory of their reunion still brought tears to her eyes, even now. He hugged her then, like a true parent, something she never recall him doing when she was a child up to her departure. But despite the confirmation that he in fact he cared about her, she hadn't forgotten their training sessions-the most frequently recollection she had of their interactions. She recalled how hard he pushed her and her body to become a weapon, and much like a beaten dog that felt intrinsically mistrustful of a hand extended to pet it, something about his touch felt alien. 

He looked so peaceful now, she noted, eyeing his sleeping expression almost jealous. She wondered if she would ever find that peace. She thought she would feel it the moment she returned to him and, even though their reunion was catharsis of its own kind, there was still other worries weighting her down.

_I don't know what I'd want_  
_Sometimes I'm so destructive_

* * *

The night outside felt warm, despite being midwinter.

She suspect it was due to the wall of colossal titans a kilometers down south. They were still exhaling heat like small-scale volcanoes but now they stood in place, frozen, as if puppets whose strings have been cut. She wondered just what the hell were they supposed to do about them now. Without the coordinate they couldn’t be controlled anymore. Maybe they should just cut them down, one by one, even if it took them days. Still it was probably more efficient than senseless using cannons or other ammo, she was sure they could still regenerate. 

It wasn’t only the wall of the titans menacingly looking at them, other major problem was the current state of the world. Where to even start? Was it the end for Eldians? After so much terror what would stop the other nations from wiping their race permanently the moment they would counterattack? The fact that a handful of Eldians were the ones to stop the Rumbling would be enough to satisfy their thirst for retribution?

 _What a fucking mess_ , she thought, aimlessly walking around the open field of the military base. Scattered around it were both Marleans and Eldians together, coexisting in peace: groups of families and officials gathered at random, sitting down on the grass, some laying on it trying to get some sleep. They couldn't fit everyone into the constructions or provide all something of a cushion as a bedding either. So her father suggested that women and children were granted the best place to sleep into the warehouse, but the idea was quickly shot down. It seemed the families wanted to stick together, as if afraid to loose one another out of sight.

She could understand the feeling, because before she could realize she was searching for her comrades. For the first time in her life, she felt that she fit in with the group. It wasn’t like that in training, neither with the warriors in Marley nor with the soldiers in Paradis. Who would've thought-? Saving the world really brought it together it seems. 

She found her comrades in no time. Her eyes drifted to Armin at first, of course. He sat with Mikasa with their backs turned to the titan wall. She felt sorry for them, but that was a place that she couldn’t reach out. They were a duo now, not a trio. Nobody else would understand or be able to comfort them. The fact that they both had directly taken part in killing Eren only made it worse. The only ones that wouldn’t feel bad about ending him would be Pieck, or one of the kids. But it seemed Armin and Mikasa wanted to take the responsibility and instead place that burden into themselves. 

She found Reiners's and Gabi’s family next with the addition of Falco. The shock on Reiner’s face when he met his mother was akin to the one she felt facing her father. She had already forgiven him deep down, but that was the first time she realized they were pretty much the same. Strangled from their families that sold them into training, Ymir curse quickly tickling away the last of their time. It was the same for Pieck. She sat close to the edge of the cliff facing the titans. Annie pondered if she should try to reach for her, but refrained for doing so as she spotted her father sleeping next to her. She decided to give them space.

She couldn’t find Levi, and was thankful for that. She remembers very well killing his squad, and how brutally he brought her titan form down in only seconds. The man may be wounded but he was still as terrifying. She didn’t look forward a confrontation with him, though part of her suspected he would rather just ignore her presence. They fought alongside then, it was a good deed paying a bad one, and now they were back to sum zero. 

After some deliberation, Annie decided she was going to sit by herself, it was only right.

As she looked for a good spot she saw Connie and Jean, seemingly lost in a conversation. As if sensing her gaze, they both looked in her direction. A beat passed before Connie waved and Jean nodded down in greeting. She nodded back at them. Even though she kept her own way the interaction felt uplifting. It seemed that the animosity between them was truly gone.

Annie didn’t know for how long she sat alone, looking up at the stars. She ended up at the back of the watch tower, using its wall as a support for her back as she slouched into it, both of her feet planted in the ground.

The view there weren’t obstructed by titans but she could still see signs of destruction in form of enormous footsteps each time her gaze fell bellow the horizon.

_I don't know how I'd feel_  
_I probably wouldn't feel shit_

* * *

She was almost falling into a light slumber when she heard footsteps closing in.

She startled a little in place. Out of habit, her eyes shot open, alert, just to meet a pair of familiar blue orbs.

“Annie.” Armin greeted, walking over to her.

"Armin..." 

He looked exhausted, the impression was amplified by his titan’s marks still faintly marring the skin under his eyes. “Can I seat with you?” 

She nodded her approval, feeling the familiar twisting sensation deep in her belly triggered by his close proximity.

He sat by her side, mimicking her position. It was almost a perfect mirror of the moment they shared in the boat, except this time Armin sat a few good inches closer. It only made her more nervous, her face heating up.

“How’s Mikasa?” Annie asked, level, eyeing his profile.

“I don’t know.” He replied, sounding so miserable she felt her heart squeeze painfully. “She asked me to leave her alone for now.”

Annie desperately wanted to say something positive to him. To them.

“Mikasa is strong-she can do it.”

“Yeah, she is.” Armin agreed, his tone still sad, but this time he glanced down at her.

She looked away instantly, feeling bashful under his scrutiny. She couldn't find any other words to say as a sudden the white noise crowded her thoughts.

“What about you?” Armin asked.

She had no idea how to answer that question.

“Well, father is alive-” She started. “-But it’s too early to celebrate, everything is still uncertain… I’m afraid war will break out again soon.”

He agreed. “I think the same, it isn't unlikely.”

The fact that Armin confirmed her suspicions made them more solid, somehow. But she wasn't worried about herself, or the world in that moment. Rather, she wished she could make his expression less heavier, just for a while, even if their future was still bleak as it always been. 

She turned to him, making their eyes meet. 

“So what’s your plan? You always manage to save our skin.”

Armin smiles a little, wistfully, as if sensing her intent. “I have thought something up, but there’s no guarantee it’s going to work.”

“Isn’t that usually how it goes?” Annie says, feeling her heart beat pick up in pace as she kept his gaze locked in hers. “After what you pulled in the paths, you can take on a _little_ diplomacy easily, right?”

He smiles wider. “I see. A little diplomacy for a little titan problem.” He replies, playful, just to add suddenly: “I could use your help. Are you going to help me?”

“I-How can I do that?” she asked, in a mix of disbelief and eagerness to assist him.

He paused, as if to deliberate. Something in his gaze shifted.

“You could encourage me.”

Her eyes widened, and her face went crimson. He sounded suggestive, she was sure they weren’t talking about geopolitics anymore. She looked away for a moment.

“Sure. Anything for you.” She whispered. She intended for a deadpan but it came out as shaky and truthful.

She glanced back at him and found him equally flushed, expression serious. It wasn't a joke, he really meant it. It made her relax a bit-she wasn’t the only one nervous. So she stared at him defiantly, as if challenging him into action.

“You could start-by letting me hold your hand.” He suggested, shyly. “For reassurance.”

“Sure, I can squeeze your hand during political meetings-make sure you won’t fall asleep during the never-ending listing of Eldia’s warcrimes.”

Even though her words were dismissive, she reached for him and let him grasp her palm into his. 

“They might add a new category just for the Rumbling too.” Armin says, as he enlaced their fingered together experimentally.

“I’m sure they will.” Annie replied, biting her lower lip, her heart felt so loud inside her chest the she was afraid she was going to tremble due to the thrill.

“We have to really play up the fact that we stopped Eren.” Armin said, his shoulder suddenly touching hers as he got closer. “He will go down in history as a monster. This seemed to be what he had planned in the start, to sacrifice himself over a final bloodshed. None about it was right- but he gave us something of a chance, bought us more time. His name will be hated worldwide, and what gets at me is how nobody will know him as a person, what he felt, what he was trying to achieve, how he was in his last moments…”

Annie gapped at his expression. He faced forward but his eyes were wide, unseeing, his forehead furrowed. She was sure he was replaying the dreadful chain of events in his head. The worse is that she couldn’t find what to say. She knew how it had to go. Eren was the dangerous monster they brought down, that’s the truth that would prevail. 

She leaned back against him, a wordless response to his suffering that she hopped offered her understanding. She brought their shoulder flush together, as well as their hips and tights, their enlaced hands coming to rest on top of her lap. Just then she realized how cold she was before, the bare skin of her arm felt freezing against his warmer one.

In response she saw his expression shifts before her eyes, from pain, to surprise, to something she else, but when Armin looked back at her she went very still. It dawned on her how their faces were only a few inches apart. She could see the small specks of black in his dark blue irises and feel his breathing over hers as he suddenly let out a single deep exhale. She avoided his all-seeing eyes- what was she seeing in her expression?- making her head fall on top his shoulder, her heart ponding loudly against her chest.

A beat passed before he let his head rest on hers, his cheek pressing against her hair. 

“I have yet to thank you.”

“...For what?”

“For coming to rescue me with Mikasa and Connie. For choosing to return with Falco and saving all of us. For being here with me.”

“You don’t have to thank me-” Annie replied, her eyes getting misty. “-Especially for the latter. It’s hardly a chore.”

She could feel him take a breath. “Do you like-being like this?”

“I do.” She replied, in despite of her embarrassment. She felt she needed to reassure him.

“Me too.” 

They fell in silence. It felt almost relaxing being this close to him, it was pleasantly warm, if she closed her eyes maybe she would fall asleep. However, his lasting quietness agitated her.

“What are you thinking about?” She asked, words falling into the crook of his neck.

Armin went very still, tense, his breath caught. “I was thinking about kissing you.” He confessed, squeezing her hand once. “If you’d like to.”

Annie squeezed her eyes shut, feeling almost sick to her stomach at how it insisted on doing somersaults at his words-just thinking about it. She could feel her flush creeping down to her neck, as she slowly nodded her compliance.

Just then Armin removed his head from the top of hers and twisted in place as if to face her. Feeling cornered, she raised her head to meet his eyes and their noses ended up brushing together. Her eyes widened and she leaned back slightly, caught of guard, her eyes shot up to his-only to find his orbs were set bellow her gaze, locking into her mouth. She licked her lips, self conscious about how dry and cracked they were, and before she knew it they were kissing. She didn’t know who moved in first. They parted just as quickly as they touched-her heart went hammering into her ears from the pleasant sensation that lingered in her mouth.

This time Armin clearly leaned down first. They kissed again but this time neither separated. She shut her eyes, her hand coming to grasp at his shirt blindly for support as she let herself be guided by instinct, her mouth was moving almost departed from the command of her brain, pressing firmly against his, sliding up and down following a steady, intoxicating rhythm that neither wanted to break apart from. 

His arms suddenly were on her shoulders and waist, brining her close against his chest, almost trapping her hand in there. She dragged it upwards, pressing tight against his skin all the way to his neck, enlacing loosely it with her both arms. Armin pushed her even closer then, bringing their torsos flush together in a hold stronger than she anticipated. She could feel her breasts squeezing against his pectorals, her nipples suddenly sensitive to the pressure responded in something that wasn’t quite pain. She let out a breath thought her nose, overwhelmed, but didn’t let go.

As his hands were busy locking her in place, she let hers roam free, into his nape, up into his hair, sliding down his biceps. Almost instantly, he mirrored her movements, while one hand kept fit snugly against her waist, the other he brought up her arm to brush lightly on where her jaw and neck connected, bringing a foreigner sensation to her. Nobody touched her face like that before so delicately so she gasped into his mouth.

They parted suddenly-her eyes snapped open- and for a moment Annie was distracted by the fleeting trail of saliva connecting their lips. Their gazes locked again a second later, and he looked almost darkly at her, his expression hard-focused. They were so close she could see herself reflected on his iris and her expression couldn’t be much different than his. She took a swallow breath, feeling that there wasn't enough air in her lungs, her body overheated. She wanted to kiss him again already. So she did, pulling at his lower lip, sucking it slightly, her teeth scraping at the soft skin.

Armin let out a strangled sound, separating from her again.

“What?” She muttered, impatient for being interrupted halfway her exploration. “Did I hurt you?”

“No.” Armin said, and she could almost see the engines turning in his eyes. He captured her face in both his hands suddenly: “You made me want to try this on you.”

Annie blushed harder, if that was possible. “Ok, hurry up then”, she replied, avoiding his gaze. “Don’t keep looking at me like that.“

“Like what?” He asked, his face breaking into a wide smile.

“Like _that_.” She complained. She tried to scowl but her mouth kept turning its edges, his enthusiasm was contagious. “And stop _smiling_ too.”

He chuckled, then, finally pressing his lips to hers.

It felt like hours had passed before they separated again, their lips steaming quite literally as they healed from some rougher bites as were some parts of her neck. Annie felt like her brain turned to mush, all function ceasing-despite of much as she wanted to find something smart to say now. They couldn't keep at it forever, they need to stop to talk at some point but part of her didn't want to stop. The insistent burning in between her legs was distracting- and it only made her more light-headed. Tentatively, she chanced a glance down to his crouch to see if he was similarly affected, and even though it was dark she definitely could make the outline of- She swallowed in dry, quickly glancing up again only to find his eyes set in hers, catching her in the act.

“ _Sorry_ -” Both of them started at the same time, breaking off to giggle nervously.

“Sorry for _ogling_ you.” Annie started first, her tone light, burying her head in his chest to hide from the mortification.

Armin chuckled, he didn’t seem to really mind. “Sorry for _liking_ you.” He replied in the same tone, holding her into a gentle embrace. “It seemed it wasn’t as clear before to you.”

“Yeah, took me a while” She admitted, amused.

It was easier to believe in his feelings now, because she had allowed herself to believe in hers. She wondered where it all started. Back in their training days? The moment he discovered her true identity? His hazy visits to her crystal prison?

Annie closed her eyes, tentatively retributing the hug. It didn't matter how it began- she was so glad that it did, somehow, even if escaped her comprehension. Even if the world still was falling apart-Her forehead furrowed at her thoughts, suddenly a wave of guilty consuming her at the flashes of death and chaos before her eyes. 

“Armin, is this right...? Everything about this utterly absurd.. isn't it?”

“How so?” He asked, an inch of anxiousness in his voice.

Annie felt her throat suddenly tight, her vision blurred with tears.

“I mean- how can I get to feel _this_ -" She tried to put into words but couldn't. "-how can this moment here exist after so many tragedies? After everything I’ve done? After so many innocent people died?”

“Nobody is destined only to suffering, Annie.” Armin told her, firmly. "If you think you deserve nothing but pain because of your past, then I'll let you know I'm the same. I've done as much killing as you, if not more. But I believe, that even for people like us, there might be a way- Because we were born into this world. Each one of us is allowed a chance at happiness, even if it’s from a fleeting moment-”

“-So is this fleeting for you?” 

“-No, I want it to last, for as long as you want it too. You could come to Paradis with us.” Armin offered.

“But my father- I can’t let him go now.” She blinked down stray tears against his shirt. "I'm his only family."

“You could bring him together with you.” He said, gently, brushing the ends of her hair. “I’ve been wondering about that recently- I think Eldia should reunite, the Marley government has mistreated its Eldians for long enough. You would be well received in the Island. The cultural differences would be there, but I think we can learn to trust into each other… I mean, look at us.”

Annie knew what he meant. They were former colleagues turned enemies. They both betrayed and killed from their side. And yet, they could still reach an understanding, even more than that, they could dream of peace together before the end of their curse.

For Annie, it was way more than she thought she would ever deserve.

“I hope you’re right.” 

_I don't know how I'd love_  
_'Cause you're the only one I want_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Title and lyrics are from Separation Anxiety by Eyedress.


End file.
